I want to write beautiful things again.
:(
Okay, I wouldn't say anything that I've ever written has been beautiful, but I want it to be. Really, really bad.
I wish I could write poetry. I wish I could be beautiful. I wish anything I did was beautiful.
If I could have a choice, it would be my writing I'd want beautiful. Because if you make something that's beautiful, it makes you beautiful, right?
If you're a part of something amazing, that makes you amazing, doesn't it?
I wish I could write music. I wish I could play music. I wish that I could write a lullabye, play a lullabye, sing my children a lullabye. This is one thing I've never even attempted.
I've looked through poetry, trying to find something to turn into a lullabye, but I can't.
I just wish I could write something beautiful.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Shiver; Linger, Maggie Steifvater
Twilight is over. Shiver and Linger are here, and it's beautiful.
Stephanie Meyer, say goodbye. Maggie Steifvater is doing it better ten-fold.
I've said it before with Lament, and Ballad, and then Shiver, and now Linger. Maggie Steifvater is magic.
"the cold.
Grace has spent years watching the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf--- her wolf-- watches back. He feels deeply familiar to her, but she doesn't know why.
the heat.
Sam has lived two lives. As a wolf, he keeps the silent comapny of the girl he loves. And then, for a short time each year, he is human, never daring to talk to Grace... until now.
the shiver.
For Grace and Sam, love has always been kept at a distance. But once it's spoken, it can't be denied. Sam must fight to stay human-- and Grace must fight to keep him-- even if it means taking on the scars of his past, the fragility of the present, and the impossibility of the future." --(Shiver cover.)
------------------------------------
"the longing.
Once Grace and Sam have found each other, they know they must fight to stay together. For Sam, this means reckoning with his werewolf past. For Grace, this means facing a future that is less and less certain.
the loss.
Into their world comes a new wolf named Cole, whose past is full of hurt and danger. He is wrestling with his own demons, embracing the life as a wolf while denying the ties of being human.
the linger.
For Grace, Sam, and Cole, life is a constant struggle between two constant forces-- wolf and human-- with love baring its two sides as well. It is harrowing and euphoric, freeing and entrapping, enticing and alarming. As their world falls apart, love is what lingers. But will it be enough?" --(Linger cover)
The writing, the story, it's beatuiful and at times poetic. The realationship and love between Grace and Sam is strong and believable, and the situations and lives that they live are true to nature and, again, believable. It's not your typical Urban Fantasy with werewolves. The wolves of Mercy Falls are just that-- wolves. Either all wolf or all human, and the struggles and fight to stay one way or another is emotional and sometimes heartwrenching. These books are powered full of emotion, goodbyes, and fighting to accept life as it is, and fighting to keep love in it's equation. It's full of real problems, real emotions, and real love.
If you have ever wanted to read a love story, now's the time. Get out of that chair and find yourself a copy of Shiver, and you'll probably want to pick up a copy of Linger while you're there because it'll just save you a trip to the bookstore. Trust me, you're going to get sucked in.
I don't care if you're an Edward or Jacob, you will be a Sam. I don't care if you're a Jace or a Simon, a Seth or Keenan, a Niall or an Irial or a Devlin, a Damen, a Jude, a Mr. Darcy, a Mr. Rochester, a Colonel Brandon, a Prince Charming, a Harry or Ron or Hermione or Snape, or whatever ficitional character you're into, you're going to be a Sam. A Sam and Grace.
If I write anything even half as beautiful as Shiver (or Linger), I'll die happy.
Just.... ah. I've read good books before, but nothing this beautiful. Beautiful.
Stephanie Meyer, say goodbye. Maggie Steifvater is doing it better ten-fold.
I've said it before with Lament, and Ballad, and then Shiver, and now Linger. Maggie Steifvater is magic.
"the cold.
Grace has spent years watching the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf--- her wolf-- watches back. He feels deeply familiar to her, but she doesn't know why.
the heat.
Sam has lived two lives. As a wolf, he keeps the silent comapny of the girl he loves. And then, for a short time each year, he is human, never daring to talk to Grace... until now.
the shiver.
For Grace and Sam, love has always been kept at a distance. But once it's spoken, it can't be denied. Sam must fight to stay human-- and Grace must fight to keep him-- even if it means taking on the scars of his past, the fragility of the present, and the impossibility of the future." --(Shiver cover.)
------------------------------------
"the longing.
Once Grace and Sam have found each other, they know they must fight to stay together. For Sam, this means reckoning with his werewolf past. For Grace, this means facing a future that is less and less certain.
the loss.
Into their world comes a new wolf named Cole, whose past is full of hurt and danger. He is wrestling with his own demons, embracing the life as a wolf while denying the ties of being human.
the linger.
For Grace, Sam, and Cole, life is a constant struggle between two constant forces-- wolf and human-- with love baring its two sides as well. It is harrowing and euphoric, freeing and entrapping, enticing and alarming. As their world falls apart, love is what lingers. But will it be enough?" --(Linger cover)
The writing, the story, it's beatuiful and at times poetic. The realationship and love between Grace and Sam is strong and believable, and the situations and lives that they live are true to nature and, again, believable. It's not your typical Urban Fantasy with werewolves. The wolves of Mercy Falls are just that-- wolves. Either all wolf or all human, and the struggles and fight to stay one way or another is emotional and sometimes heartwrenching. These books are powered full of emotion, goodbyes, and fighting to accept life as it is, and fighting to keep love in it's equation. It's full of real problems, real emotions, and real love.
If you have ever wanted to read a love story, now's the time. Get out of that chair and find yourself a copy of Shiver, and you'll probably want to pick up a copy of Linger while you're there because it'll just save you a trip to the bookstore. Trust me, you're going to get sucked in.
I don't care if you're an Edward or Jacob, you will be a Sam. I don't care if you're a Jace or a Simon, a Seth or Keenan, a Niall or an Irial or a Devlin, a Damen, a Jude, a Mr. Darcy, a Mr. Rochester, a Colonel Brandon, a Prince Charming, a Harry or Ron or Hermione or Snape, or whatever ficitional character you're into, you're going to be a Sam. A Sam and Grace.
If I write anything even half as beautiful as Shiver (or Linger), I'll die happy.
Just.... ah. I've read good books before, but nothing this beautiful. Beautiful.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
BR: Stolen-- Lucy Christopher
BOOK REVIEW:
STOLEN, Lucy Christopher
(Okay, this is just what I posted two months ago after reading Stolen. It isn't an official review. It's a rant.)
"Reading a book until two in the morning just to finish it is not recommendable.
Granted, I've done this before. Dozens of times. And yet I do it again and again, hating myself every time.
I mean, it's not a secret that if a book is well written, you're not going to be able to roll over and fall asleep the second it's over, no matter HOW late it is. (Or early. Or, in a few cases, past dawn. Those are always fun.) Hopefully, you've made the author happy and are a storm of emotions. Many conflicting. Especially if it doesn't have a story-tale happy-ending (which, let's face it, most great books don't, right? Okay, there are lots of good books with happy endings. And those can still be frustrating. Anyways). ESPECIALLY if you don't like the ending.
You just need some time to reflect, you know?
I started STOLEN by Lucy Christopher around 6 this evening and finished at 1:30 AM. And I'm frustrated. I'm happy with the ending. But still. There's no way to be completely satisfied, because when in life are you ever completely satisfied by any decision?
STOLEN was about a sixteen year old girl who's kidnapped by a guy. When she was ten, she unknowingly sort of gave him hope in life when he had fallen beyond rock bottom and was living in the bushes in her neighborhood park, drunken in sorrow. Six years later, he thinks her life is smothering her, and he steals her away. To the Australian outback. With no one-- NO ONE-- around, ever. And no, it's not one of those stories-- there is absolutely nothing sexy about it. Nothing like that. Ty really thinks he's doing the best for her. Eventually, she sort of connects with the land, understands him... then when she's bitten by a poisonous snake and his medicine doesn't work cause it's too old he takes her to a hospital-- strapped to the back of a camel as he runs along for who knows how many hours in the rain, over Australian outback, no less-- and he turns himself in so she can get hospital care.
Gemma's struggle to figure out what she thinks after she's back home, completely taken-over by the media, wondering what she's going to tell the court... every screams at her that Ty is evil, but he's not, and she knows it. Everyone is convinced that she has Stockholm's syndrome, but she doesn't. She just knows Ty isn't evil.
There's no freaking way Ty can get out of a prison sentence. She alludes to that. And she's not going to lie and say that she went on her own free will, and she's not going to lie and say that Ty is a monster. It's like, you don't know what to think either. Except sadness. Because Ty is so connected to the land-- it's all he's ever known. Humans have hurt him and destroyed him over his lifetime (cept Gemma, course) and so he's learned to love the land, the desert, all the life there. To think of him holed up in a cell for fifteen years just breaks your heart, even knowing what he did was wrong. And, seeing as the whole thing is written as a letter to Ty, an account of everything that happened, like, "You walked over to the cashier and paid for my coffee yourself; your blue eyes were familiar..." yadayada, makes it way more intense, anyways.
Sigh. Okay. I'm done reflecting. Maybe I can sleep now. Maybe not. I just needed to think.
Gez, I love good books. They make me want to write my own."
---Wednesday, May 5th, 2010. Hollysthoughts.com
STOLEN, Lucy Christopher
(Okay, this is just what I posted two months ago after reading Stolen. It isn't an official review. It's a rant.)
"Reading a book until two in the morning just to finish it is not recommendable.
Granted, I've done this before. Dozens of times. And yet I do it again and again, hating myself every time.
I mean, it's not a secret that if a book is well written, you're not going to be able to roll over and fall asleep the second it's over, no matter HOW late it is. (Or early. Or, in a few cases, past dawn. Those are always fun.) Hopefully, you've made the author happy and are a storm of emotions. Many conflicting. Especially if it doesn't have a story-tale happy-ending (which, let's face it, most great books don't, right? Okay, there are lots of good books with happy endings. And those can still be frustrating. Anyways). ESPECIALLY if you don't like the ending.
You just need some time to reflect, you know?
I started STOLEN by Lucy Christopher around 6 this evening and finished at 1:30 AM. And I'm frustrated. I'm happy with the ending. But still. There's no way to be completely satisfied, because when in life are you ever completely satisfied by any decision?
STOLEN was about a sixteen year old girl who's kidnapped by a guy. When she was ten, she unknowingly sort of gave him hope in life when he had fallen beyond rock bottom and was living in the bushes in her neighborhood park, drunken in sorrow. Six years later, he thinks her life is smothering her, and he steals her away. To the Australian outback. With no one-- NO ONE-- around, ever. And no, it's not one of those stories-- there is absolutely nothing sexy about it. Nothing like that. Ty really thinks he's doing the best for her. Eventually, she sort of connects with the land, understands him... then when she's bitten by a poisonous snake and his medicine doesn't work cause it's too old he takes her to a hospital-- strapped to the back of a camel as he runs along for who knows how many hours in the rain, over Australian outback, no less-- and he turns himself in so she can get hospital care.
Gemma's struggle to figure out what she thinks after she's back home, completely taken-over by the media, wondering what she's going to tell the court... every screams at her that Ty is evil, but he's not, and she knows it. Everyone is convinced that she has Stockholm's syndrome, but she doesn't. She just knows Ty isn't evil.
There's no freaking way Ty can get out of a prison sentence. She alludes to that. And she's not going to lie and say that she went on her own free will, and she's not going to lie and say that Ty is a monster. It's like, you don't know what to think either. Except sadness. Because Ty is so connected to the land-- it's all he's ever known. Humans have hurt him and destroyed him over his lifetime (cept Gemma, course) and so he's learned to love the land, the desert, all the life there. To think of him holed up in a cell for fifteen years just breaks your heart, even knowing what he did was wrong. And, seeing as the whole thing is written as a letter to Ty, an account of everything that happened, like, "You walked over to the cashier and paid for my coffee yourself; your blue eyes were familiar..." yadayada, makes it way more intense, anyways.
Sigh. Okay. I'm done reflecting. Maybe I can sleep now. Maybe not. I just needed to think.
Gez, I love good books. They make me want to write my own."
---Wednesday, May 5th, 2010. Hollysthoughts.com
BR: Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr
Book Review:
Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr
(Wicked Lovely; Ink Exchange; Fragile Eternity; Radiant Shadows)
Young Adult, Urban Fantasy
WICKED LOVELY
Um, okay, this is probably my FAVORITE series at the moment. If you have any interest in the Fae, modern Faerie tales, or any sort of Urban Fantasy whatsoever, READ IT.
It combines, as I've said, modern Fae and sort of dark romance together in a deep-thinking Urban Fantasy. It's edgier than most of the other YA dark romances that are one the market. The Fae in Marr's stories are dark and seductive and prone to reeking havoc in selfish ways, and in each story, some poor mortal gets sucked into the mess and has to fight through the mess of the four Faerie courts: The Summer Court, The Winter Court, the Dark Court, and the High Court.
It all begins with Wicked Lovely, in which Aislinn is a mortal girl trying to get through life without the faeries living in her city knowing that she can see them. Doesn't work, however, when Keenan, the should-be-Summer-king, sets his sights on her as his possible Queen. Without her consent or understanding, Aislinn suddenly starts becoming faerie herself and finally collapses and decides to tell her starting-to-be-more-than-friends best friend Seth. What she doesn't know is that in order for Keenan to become king and break the curse put on him by his ridiculously mean mother, the Winter Queen, and help his court and return the earth to it's natural order, he needs to find the one girl that's destined to be the Summer Queen. He's had to go through centuries of finding and testing girls to try and find his queen, and despite Aislinns wants, it turns out to be her. She can't back out of being fae, and despite her wishes, she finds herself caring about the wellbeing of the fae, but can't except the job if it means having to leave Seth.
Loved it. Loved it loved it loved it. Sounds cheesy? It's not. I find it completley compelling that for once, someone is able to write a YA urban Fantasy/Romance without going overboard, and with a STORY.
Melissa Marr, you get a millin gold stars for PLOTLINE!!!!!!!
Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr
(Wicked Lovely; Ink Exchange; Fragile Eternity; Radiant Shadows)
Young Adult, Urban Fantasy
WICKED LOVELY
Um, okay, this is probably my FAVORITE series at the moment. If you have any interest in the Fae, modern Faerie tales, or any sort of Urban Fantasy whatsoever, READ IT.
It combines, as I've said, modern Fae and sort of dark romance together in a deep-thinking Urban Fantasy. It's edgier than most of the other YA dark romances that are one the market. The Fae in Marr's stories are dark and seductive and prone to reeking havoc in selfish ways, and in each story, some poor mortal gets sucked into the mess and has to fight through the mess of the four Faerie courts: The Summer Court, The Winter Court, the Dark Court, and the High Court.
It all begins with Wicked Lovely, in which Aislinn is a mortal girl trying to get through life without the faeries living in her city knowing that she can see them. Doesn't work, however, when Keenan, the should-be-Summer-king, sets his sights on her as his possible Queen. Without her consent or understanding, Aislinn suddenly starts becoming faerie herself and finally collapses and decides to tell her starting-to-be-more-than-friends best friend Seth. What she doesn't know is that in order for Keenan to become king and break the curse put on him by his ridiculously mean mother, the Winter Queen, and help his court and return the earth to it's natural order, he needs to find the one girl that's destined to be the Summer Queen. He's had to go through centuries of finding and testing girls to try and find his queen, and despite Aislinns wants, it turns out to be her. She can't back out of being fae, and despite her wishes, she finds herself caring about the wellbeing of the fae, but can't except the job if it means having to leave Seth.
Loved it. Loved it loved it loved it. Sounds cheesy? It's not. I find it completley compelling that for once, someone is able to write a YA urban Fantasy/Romance without going overboard, and with a STORY.
Melissa Marr, you get a millin gold stars for PLOTLINE!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Update: April 2010
UPDATE!
Let It Be, my first completed novel, is, well, completed! It was officially finished February 2, 2010, but I've done one more editing job since then. Nothing big, just rearranging a few sentences, adding a few "Sam said,"'s (instead of just leaving the quote freestanding), etc. It makes me feel better.
Anyways, Let It Be has been done for a while, and now I'm on an actually COMPLETING kick... which means? No longer will I have 50-120 page ALMOST-but-not-quite finished stories sitting around in my computer. I'm finishing them instead of just jumping from story to story, adding a scene here, a chapter there... NO! THEY WILL BE COMPLETED!
Or, you know, that's the goal.
(My inner voice snorts)
Um... yeah. Me and goals don't sit too well.
HOWEVER-- I am going to work on completing my SECOND novel, and hopefully, it's companion!
Titles are loose, but Extraordinary is pretty well locked in for the first. Yay!
Extraordinary is the story of a three teenagers with extraordinary abilities. Actually, they're part of an underground society of people with power, called EXTRAORDINAIRES. Evangeline, (from whose perspective the story is told) has started to develop her powers the last few months in secret (her mom has no clue what's going on), and she can tell something isn't right. She has intense nightmares, scary hallucinations, and your average "power flubs:" filling the 1200 Science building with bubbles, attracting all the barn owls within the tri-state area, and having a tendancy to blow up any baked goods she comes in contact with.
When Evangeline moves into a neighborhood of eight other Extraordinaires (two sorceresses, and six warriors), she's pysched to find other people her age who simply understand what's going on with her. But her suspicions are comfirmed true: the things that are happening to Evangeline? Yeah, they aren't normal. And they're getting worse.
She makes friends with Andy Patterson and the other warriors that live with him and his family, and they start to explore her overly-strong powers. As she struggles to make sense of everything, she's forced to seek out Andy's foster-brother, arrogant and gruff Nick, since he seems to have the same sort of power-struggles she suffers from. Only he does it much more easily.
As Evangeline and Nick work through their personal power issues, they search for answers about their own allusive heritages, overcome inner demons, and rebattle dangerous enemies the warriors thought they left behind a long time ago.
I plan to finish Extraordinary in the next three months!!! WOOT!
It's companion, however, won't be completed that fast. While Extraordinary is mostly written and is only going to take some meshing and editing (I'm taking two books and making it one... yah, crazy work), the sequel is mostly still in my head.
Meanwhile, I plan to post excerpts here. So keep watching!
Let It Be, my first completed novel, is, well, completed! It was officially finished February 2, 2010, but I've done one more editing job since then. Nothing big, just rearranging a few sentences, adding a few "Sam said,"'s (instead of just leaving the quote freestanding), etc. It makes me feel better.
Anyways, Let It Be has been done for a while, and now I'm on an actually COMPLETING kick... which means? No longer will I have 50-120 page ALMOST-but-not-quite finished stories sitting around in my computer. I'm finishing them instead of just jumping from story to story, adding a scene here, a chapter there... NO! THEY WILL BE COMPLETED!
Or, you know, that's the goal.
(My inner voice snorts)
Um... yeah. Me and goals don't sit too well.
HOWEVER-- I am going to work on completing my SECOND novel, and hopefully, it's companion!
Titles are loose, but Extraordinary is pretty well locked in for the first. Yay!
Extraordinary is the story of a three teenagers with extraordinary abilities. Actually, they're part of an underground society of people with power, called EXTRAORDINAIRES. Evangeline, (from whose perspective the story is told) has started to develop her powers the last few months in secret (her mom has no clue what's going on), and she can tell something isn't right. She has intense nightmares, scary hallucinations, and your average "power flubs:" filling the 1200 Science building with bubbles, attracting all the barn owls within the tri-state area, and having a tendancy to blow up any baked goods she comes in contact with.
When Evangeline moves into a neighborhood of eight other Extraordinaires (two sorceresses, and six warriors), she's pysched to find other people her age who simply understand what's going on with her. But her suspicions are comfirmed true: the things that are happening to Evangeline? Yeah, they aren't normal. And they're getting worse.
She makes friends with Andy Patterson and the other warriors that live with him and his family, and they start to explore her overly-strong powers. As she struggles to make sense of everything, she's forced to seek out Andy's foster-brother, arrogant and gruff Nick, since he seems to have the same sort of power-struggles she suffers from. Only he does it much more easily.
As Evangeline and Nick work through their personal power issues, they search for answers about their own allusive heritages, overcome inner demons, and rebattle dangerous enemies the warriors thought they left behind a long time ago.
I plan to finish Extraordinary in the next three months!!! WOOT!
It's companion, however, won't be completed that fast. While Extraordinary is mostly written and is only going to take some meshing and editing (I'm taking two books and making it one... yah, crazy work), the sequel is mostly still in my head.
Meanwhile, I plan to post excerpts here. So keep watching!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Definition Unkown (but very close)
Excerpt from "Fay"
Definition Unknown (But Very Close)
Looking up at the ceiling, lying back on the stained carpet.
Only place I feel alive,
I feel like my true self can emerge.
The only time it ever does,
midnight, darkness, alone.
Late at night, wrapped in shadows and comforting darkness all around.
Light just starting to peer over the edge of the horizon;
new, clean, beginnings about to emerge.
The few moments that I steal from here
are the only ones I feel like myself.
Myself:
Definition, unknown.
But here; very close.
Watching the stars move ever so slowly ‘cross the sky.
Three o’clock, I think.
I should be going
but I don’t want to leave the feeling behind,
this feeling of knowing who I am.
Of being found.
Close my eyes and listen to the silence of the night
that isn’t silence at all.
Crunch of leaves outside, small animal making its way across the woods.
Soft whistle of the wind telling secrets to the trees,
small creaks of wood as it stretches in the night.
Crickets vibrating songs…
I’m found, but it’s time to be lost again.
Time to go home.
Definition Unknown (But Very Close)
Looking up at the ceiling, lying back on the stained carpet.
Only place I feel alive,
I feel like my true self can emerge.
The only time it ever does,
midnight, darkness, alone.
Late at night, wrapped in shadows and comforting darkness all around.
Light just starting to peer over the edge of the horizon;
new, clean, beginnings about to emerge.
The few moments that I steal from here
are the only ones I feel like myself.
Myself:
Definition, unknown.
But here; very close.
Watching the stars move ever so slowly ‘cross the sky.
Three o’clock, I think.
I should be going
but I don’t want to leave the feeling behind,
this feeling of knowing who I am.
Of being found.
Close my eyes and listen to the silence of the night
that isn’t silence at all.
Crunch of leaves outside, small animal making its way across the woods.
Soft whistle of the wind telling secrets to the trees,
small creaks of wood as it stretches in the night.
Crickets vibrating songs…
I’m found, but it’s time to be lost again.
Time to go home.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I Haven't Forgotten, I Promise
SO LONG. Sorry. I'm working on it. I've got tons to post, I've just been busy. And now I'm at Rexburg for the weekend without my computer (I'm on a borrowed one) so I can't post right now. Although I would like to.
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